No choking. Or choking up
June 10, 2005Pacific Harbour, Fiji
10:23 pm
I started writing four different opening lines to the last day in Fiji and erased them all.
So this is what it comes down to. I drank a lot today. All beer, all the time. It started harmlessly. Me trying to finish off the quarts of beer we bought for the dinner on Wednesday. Ending up with me squinting to make sure I am pressing the correct keys on this very keyboard.
I miss my father. I miss various people and one animal on a daily basis, but tonight I miss my father. Tonight I wish he were with me on the back porch, whispery scotch in each of our palms, evil smoke between our fingers. We would sit silent for a spell, and then make fun of something or reveal another thing. We would respond, or not, silence sometimes being our most comfortable answer. I would exult with too much emotion. He would slurp it in with stoic, father grace. I would love him for not telling me I am too emotional. He would love me for being that expressive. We would sit in that balcony silence for a long time, before breaking down and going inside and watching sports highlights. After useless homeruns, he would go to bed. I would stay up to prove to myself that I am younger. I am him yes, but younger.
Today started with Hud waking up early and him and I watching awful cartoons on snowy reception, offering Stephanie the chance to sleep in. I was tired after battling the gnawing feeling that a large insect was going to crawl across my forehead during the night. So Hud and I ate some good breakfast and dilly-dallied for awhile. Steph woke up around 9:00 and I took her place in bed to count my own sheep. I woke up at 11:00 and we all went for a group swim in the pool, Hud clinging to our necks like fingery nooses. At 1:00 we had grand plans to go out, but Hud changed those with his manic freakout and eventual slip into slumber. Steph and I took advantage and played Trivial Pursuit over a bottle of Chardonnay.
Around three, I went in to check on Hud and he was up and told me to leave as he was in his room, playing with his penis. Which of course was ok, because that is the rule we set up for him in regards to his new found love of the trouser snake. One of the best parts of being a dad so far is telling him to let go of the hammer, instructions my parents gave me when I was Hud’s age. He is obsessed with the dink. Just like his dad was. And is.
Quickly after Hud woke up I suggested with drunken glee that we go the resort. I wanted to catch the second half of the NBA finals and choke back three or four beers. I truly wanted to do this alone because they sell smokes at this resort and I was itching after three weeks of abstinence. Well, the game wasn’t on, but the mini pack of Rothmans was, so I indulged, alone at first and then secretly when Hud and Steph showed up a few minutes later.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tsk fucking tsk. I was so ensconced in the romantic version of myself that I stared in the bar mirror and watched the smoke trot down my lungs. Sure I hacked a little, sure I felt guilty, but man did I look cool in my white linen shirt and my three week beard, sucking down the smoke and letting it mosy out my nose and mouth. I will blow through this pack and be done with it for a month or so.
Dinner was at this small inn with Nicki and Gareth and their kids. I had this wonderful Tandori chicken dish and Steph had rock cod curry. The kids ran around in the rain, covering their bare feet with flecks of grass and dirt, juicy smiles plastered on their faces.
After dinner we came back to our place. Shrek 2 was the kid entertainment while we played euchre again, this time Steph and I the champions. We chatted with even more ease this time, Gareth the quiet one becoming more comfortable with each frisky joke. We leave tomorrow and I already miss them.
Fiji was great. I have memories from here that I will think about on the front porch rocking chair.
The village and the Kava ceremony, Hud playing with the village kids, waterfalls spitting out of rocks, our waterfall spitting us out, floating down the river on my back, Hud jumping in the pool, the ocean and the vacant beach, holding Steph’s sandy hand, the Stices and their effervescent warmth, Nicki and Gareth and their gypsy life, the monster bugs, cannibal forks, and icy cold Fiji Bitters.
Mostly I will remember it as the beginning.
Melbourne awaits.
Love to all,
J.
June 9, 2005
Pacific Harbour, Fiji
7:12 pm
Day 5 of rain. Seems Fiji is trying to make us leave with a bad taste in our mouths. Not going to work. We were blessed with rays of sunshine in the first 15 days. Like I am going to complain about anything. Who would listen?
So today started with me on the throne and Hud waking up, red blanket in tow, turning to look at me, saying “hi dad” with swollen morning lips and me replying “hi Hud” and then him continuing into our room to wake up Steph. Like he was 15 years old. Only with a blanket. Funny shit man.
I am two pages from surpassing my novel with this journal. It is difficult. I really enjoy this type of writing, recalling small incidents during the day and recapping with a little flavour. It flows easier. But I guess that is the struggle I referred to earlier. The six pages of the novel I was able to pump out back in the first week reads pretty well, I am happy with it, it fits in the first 34 pages that I hope I can access in Melbourne. So maybe the discipline will return once I can scroll back and read about Dexter Machine and his lady troubles.
So blah blah blah cultural centre, strong coffees, posting to the blog, checking e-mails…what’s that? An e-mail from Tara. Her and Andrew (yes I am giving you some credit) set up a blog for Alice.
www.alicesadventureswithus.blogspot.com.
What a great idea and it made us all stare at the screen and well up with news that our dear Alice is getting along fine with two of the greatest people in the world and their own dog Ike. They even posted a picture (took me five months on my other blog to figure that out Tara, well done) of Ike and Alice on their bed. Good times for the pups. Thanks again, hope the wedding planning is going well.
So, the only other highlight of the day was walking to a different resort on a whim for lunch. It was 2km away and with Hud that takes about, oh, four and half hours. We arrive and pass through their arches, pass the security gate, walk up near to the front desk, and then down to this bar area. Number of people we ran into? None. It was a freaking ghost town and I started thinking about ideas for some sort of ghost resort movie where teenage kids get stranded, only to be stalked by an axe-wielding bellboy.
No I didn’t, I just thought of that right now. But now I want a title for it. Last Resort? Not bad. Bloody Bellboy? Not good.
Anyway, we finally ran into someone and ordered some food. This portion of the canal was one of the locations for “Anacondas, The Search for the Blood Orchid”. Yes an actually movie. They have the boat they built for the movie; it sits near the pristine pool, on an angle, her name “Bloody Mary” painted on the side. Hud sat at the wheel. Oh to be entertained by things so simple.
Speaking of being entertained by simple things. There is a casino at this resort, empty of course, as we found out no one was actually staying there. So this big room with tables and swanky chairs sat vacant, eating up air conditioning power. At the entrance was a list of rules to able to enter. Most were basic rules about attire and conduct, but rule number nine stood out and made me laugh out loud.
Rule Number Nine: No Choking.
That is just pure gold. I take it a dealer or two had been accused of cheating with big ass hands wrapped tightly around his terrified neck. Or casino chips were being eaten and the resort was tired of the 911 calls.
Either way, pure gold.
Fiji I will miss you.
Tomorrow the recap.
Love to all,
J.
Still June 9th
Still Pac Harbour
I was feeling inspired to add a couple of items to today’s journal entry.
You all remember our dealings with the bees? Well they have finally left the hive and have given up all hope on rebuilding their condo. So far no relocation plans at Villa 90.
Since the bees however, we have met face to face with a few other creatures.
Just tonight alone, post James Bond, Die Another Day, there has been a battle with the laundry room roach. This was our third roach encounter. The size of these things is unbelievable. The roaches at 441 West End Ave (Auntie B’s) don’t hold a candle to these babies. Jason and the can of bug killer won the battle tonight. First with the roach, then directly after, still in the laundry room, with a large spider. By large, I mean the body was the size of a fist. Okay, only Hud’s fist.
I have also spotted large rat size poo in the house. This beast is still currently at large……
On a more serious note, I have just found out through my mom in Hudson, Quebec, that one of the local boys was killed a few days ago. He was a volunteer fireman in Hudson and was doing some training work on a boat and had fallen off and hit his head on the motor. He died on the way to the hospital. This boy was only 20. I used to babysit him when he was only one. I have been saddened by this tragic accident and can’t imagine what his parents and older sister are going through. Life truly is fragile.
It does make me glad that we have chosen to explore life and ourselves a little more this year.
S
xo
June 8, 2005
posted by Jason @ 5:09 PM
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