Weightless and care less
September 2, 2005Onemana (oh knee mon uh), New Zealand.
9:17pm
I am not 300 lbs.
We are home. Home for now as the title of my last entry suggests. We are nicely settled in our two bedroom, two level cape cod style cottage with a wraparound deck and constant views of the placid ocean. Onemana is on the Eastern side of the Coromandel Peninsula, about 150kms east of Auckland. We will be living here for two months. We have been here for 30 hours and already it feels like home. Well, home for now.
The last day on Waiheke was spent picking our jaws off the grass due to the magnificence.
I swam for the first time in New Zealand. It is cold. But not the coldest I have ever been in. Hud also joined me in the water. In his tighty whiteys.
We also managed to eat a paper satchel full of the best French fries either Steph or I had ever tasted. That alone is saying something, seeing we have only known each other for eight years and I can guarantee I was eating fries before meeting her. I think as my ass was being slapped I was crying “can I get fries with that”. Of course by my ass being slapped I mean as in moments after birth, not last Saturday night. Ba dum dum. Thank you. I am here all week. Try the veal.
I think that is the second time I have used that joke. In this journal I mean. Not my life.
The last night on Waiheke was spent near the bbq chatting with big Brian, the male half of our host couple. His gut could house sheep so while he drank bourbon and I drank beer he went on about various attractions we could stop in at on the way to Coromandel. Hud weaved in and out my legs almost to the point of annoyance, but he at least he was being active and looking at Brian when he spoke, instead of hiding behind my thigh.
The next morning, the 1st, we arranged our luggage in our blue Subaru and waved goodbye to our hosts. Carol, the other half, gave Hud a little plush Kiwi bird whose head spun 360 degrees like an owl. I think it was broken. Hud thought it was neat.
We were first in line for the car ferry due to our, or my need to be early. We were on the discount ferry so I had to back down the ramp. Now I am not a pretty, fancy boy fairy type who squeals when pinched or cries when slapped, but I am also not the hawk spitter or the press one nostril snot clearer, big badass blue collar man either. But suddenly, when presented something as inane and easy as backing down a ramp, in front of the rough and tumble ferry workers with their cool orange vests and their woolen caps, I get all cocky. I gun down the ferry ramp and then realize what I am doing and overcompensate my turning. I get all flustered and forget to look in all my mirrors and keep getting confused about which way to turn the wheel. All the while, I watch the old crusty worker guide me backwards behind a truck and instruct me to stop where I was.
I asked him if I was ok and he said yeah, but I would have preferred you closer to the side. Prefer this you salty Kiwi fuck I thought and then cringed thinking he could read my mind.
How did I do? I asked my wife. You were fine, she answered, a bit tentative, but fine. Sometimes it is all in your mind.
The ferry ride was nice, except for the gas fumes that made me a little nauseous. Hud was not as impressed this time and I think he is getting a little spoiled from all the neat things that have become normal. Ahh let him get spoiled. Have another candy Hud. Can I get you a beer?
The drive to Onemana took about two and half hours with one stop. Not bad. The drive itself started by carving through green fields full of jersey cows and tired sheep. Then it was up and down the side of a mountain, where we all had to swallow to clear our ears. The trees are coniferous with the occasional palm and giant fern mixed in to make us double take.
Onemana itself is a tiny community with about 800 meteres of absolute beach. There is forest on either side of the sand so the contrast in colour is quite dramatic. There is a small break, unlike the dead calm of Waiheke. Our house is less than one km from the beach, which is not bad, except it is up a pretty steep hill. It is exactly the type of morning hike I should do everyday. It is also exactly the type of morning exercise I could ignore. So we shall see.
Whangamata (Fang a mata, (wh is pronounced with a F sound)) is about 6km south of Onemana and has all the conveniences of a small town. We bought $270 worth of groceries at New World, the ominously named supermarket in town. We spent the first night milling about the house, putting our clothes away, claiming sides of beds, Hud going out of his mind with the box of toys the owner sent up for him. We all slept well last night. Well I woke up for about 90 minutes and chatted with my family. But that is par for the course for me on the first night.
Today we woke up slow and let the morning rub our shoulders. Carol, our neighbour from across the road, came to drop off a paper. She greeted us yesterday and boy can she talk. She has short black hair and a lean body except for the typical middle aged widening of the hips. She waves her hands like a town gossip and when she told us our neighbours to the left are a little weird; I knew she was the mouthpiece. In my head I thought, bring on the weird, weird is closer to us than you. She is pleasant enough and Steph is thinking about joining her quilting group. No I did not just make that up.
Later we went to the local playground, which is so new, it’s like they had a town meeting to discuss upgrades before we arrived. It’s in the shape of a giant ship with ropes and tunnels and planks and steering wheels. It is steps from the beach, so even just watching Hud go nuts is blessed by wicked sights and smells. Steph disappeared down the beach for a little walk while I stayed with Hud and pushed him on the swing. I kept trying to smell his head as he came back to me.
We went home for lunch to avoid paying for lunch in town.
We had pasta with broccoli, tomatoes, garlic and basil. I drank a beer and Steph had a glass of wine. It was just after one o clock. Sigh.
After lunch we went into town and:
• Tried to withdraw our accommodation money but were told by slow teller we could not.
• Spent too much time on phone finding out our accounts were fine and could be bank’s issue
• Went to info centre to get info on potential playgroups for Hudson
• Bought Hud some cheap toys and crafty stuff for rainy days
• Checked with library about potential story times
• Joined video store and rented three DVD’s
• Bought a scale and contact solution
• Took out large sum of money from ATM in case other options do not work
• Bought sunglasses for me that look cooler and feel better.
• Had ice cream
• Bought almonds and diet coke
• Checked out one of the suggested daycares. Hud and Steph to go on Monday
• Drove home.
I made garlic onion burgers for dinner and we ate at the kitchen counter, all of us sitting on barstools.
I cleaned up while Steph and Hud watched the Incredibles. And here I am now. Almonds and diet coke making me feel fat.
I am not 300lbs.
Love to all,
J.
posted by Jason @ 2:47 AM
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